Writing: HELP!

Okay next year I'm taking THREE AP classes, not a lot compared to other people but to moi 3 APs= No Life.


Aside from signing my life off my life to an array of textbooks, and other mundane reading material what concerns me is AP Language & Composition.


From what heard this class requires you to write a essay practically every other day, literally.


No big right? Yeah, think again because guys I am the worst essayist in the existence of mankind. Third graders could write more effective essays then I can, actually scratch that, a neantherdal could most probably write better, with a few movements of their pens on paper. (Try to ignore how, very historically inaccurate that last statement is.) What I'm getting at is, aside from how much I suck at World History, is that me and writing are like water and oil, we do not mix.


I do not enjoy writing, I do not enjoy planning stupid essays, I do not enjoy revising essays and I sure as hell ain't any good at it. Yet here I am sitting on my bed already enrolled in an AP course in which I'm most likely guaranteed to fail.


Any logic person would ask, "Why, oh why would you sign up for this class?"


And here's my logistics for this act of stupidity.


Like I have mentioned a gazillion times I am not good in any manner or degree of writing an essay. That is bad. What also is bad is admission to a college requires one emaculate transcript, one hell of a extracurricular activities, and one kick ass ESSAY (oh no that word again). And this is what my brain thought:

• Transcript- is irrevocably scared or ....about to be

• Extracurricular activity- most probably the same as the kid sitting behind you in class second period, nothing extraordinary.

• Essay- . . . . . . . (I will not tell you something you already know)

So here was my reasoning I'm not going to be turning into Einstein overnight and I don't think NASA will allow sixteen year old girl to go on a space mission with them anytime soon. So technically, the only thing I have to resort to is what I am horrible at most- writing. And so I signed up for AP Lang & Comp signed the contract saying I will not drop the class and if I do I get an automatic fail.



So I need to write, write, write and aside from reading I will be writing, writing, writing. Not only do I want to do well in the class I also want to prove my friend who gave me this look o_0 when I told her I will be in the meeting Tuesday for AP Language and Composition. She bluntly told me that I sucked writing essays, thanks biyatch love ya to.


So, I got June, July, and August to become a somewhat decent essayist. I am so ready for the summer assignment.


Not sure how many will read/skim this post in its entirety but I would LOVE you if you can give me some ideas, pointers, suggestions in how I can become a better writer. And please let me know if you took or taking the course next year or if someone you know took the course.

Overcoming My Mid-Teen Crisis

This year sucked for me.


I don't know why but I lost interest in everything. First it started off with school, my grades, people, and then it manifested into how little I started to read and before I knew it I lost motivation to do anything.


And I was completely aware of all this, and this just made me even more, hate life. I wanted to do better except I did not have this internal drive to push myself to do it. I came to realization early this year, that life as I knew it was over, those care free time are gone, instead it is and always will be replaced by stressful weeks that go by in a blur (and Liv did an amazing job explaining some of the things I mean here). Its like some dreadful cycling of days, weeks and months.



I wasn't always like this the whole entire year, there were times I would do good, but then I would just fall back to that same stupid mentality of indifference to my life, school, and friends.



Today, when I went to my AP World History review, my teacher was telling us how we should have already began to start studying for the exam. I haven't started but that is not what really scared me. What scared me was my attitude. The old me would have been going through a panic attack, which is acceptable (if not welcomed) in this particular situation, except I, was totally indifferent. Again, an example of lack of that most sought out, internal drive.



But then when I was talking to my mother tonight, she was talking about the future, and my career goals and I began to feel that hint of adrenaline, that long lost internal drive.



I've been dreaming of becoming one thing in my life, all my life. Sixteen years of my life I wanted to be this and I'm not going to give it up. Not now. I've been thinking about it for far to long, and its too late to go any other direction.



The whole point of this post is: I'm ready to start caring and I have found this drive, and I'm going to do better and I will do better.



So tonight, I will kick procrastination in the ass and finish my Geometry homework, work on my project, and go to school on Monday with a completely different attitude. Because baby, the old me is back!